To Succeed….Learn to face rejections…

The success in life beyond graduation is basically dependent on a child’s ability to face failures. Unfortunately, very few parents prepare the child to face rejections in life.

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The Indian parents are no different from parents the world over. There are some who always go out of the way to protect the child, for them their child can do no wrong ever. These parents always come to the rescue of child when he/ she fails in an exam or competition by shifting the blame to the system. The excuses of failure range from poor quality of teachers to bad seating arrangement or very high or very low temperatures in the exam hall or taking cover of superstition. They will never find any fault with the child. Such parents are always ready to fulfill any demand of the child without ever trying to understand whether what the child is demanding is actually required or not. Some of them think that money can buy anything and spend huge sums of money to get the child admitted in renowned colleges just to satisfy their own ego. They fail to understand that money can buy a degree but not knowledge or skill. Such children find it very difficult to achieve much on their own as depending on external support (parent’s) is in their nature. Majority of them either join the parental business or start a business with the support of parents. The day the support breaks down and desires get difficult to fulfill most of these youth lose their way. These young boys and girls are not used to facing rejections or failures and certainly have no idea what hard work is. When going gets difficult some find try to escape from the reality through the drug route and some even take the extreme step of committing suicide.

Then there is this second variety of parents which lies on the other extreme of the spectrum; for them their child can never do anything good in life, they are always ready to put the blame of failures on the child. Such children wait for the day they can get out from the shadow of the parents. Most of them never set a vision for themselves and latch on to the first job they can lay their hands on. It is not the quality of job but the perceived financial security the job gives which matters. All their life they remain trapped under the first job they got and never realise their own passion and never understand what true freedom and happiness is.  

Then there is this third variety of parents, a minority, who believe in overall development of the child and making him/ her self-reliant. They indulge in constructive criticism to make the child realise his/ her weaknesses and help them overcome them through their own efforts. Majority of such children possess the inner strength to face failures. They do not mind long working hours or job hopping till they get something which satisfies the mind. These boys and girls take risks to follow their passion and most of them end up as achievers as they are doing do what they love.

 It is incumbent on the parents to prepare the child to face failures in life. Parents may be stinking rich, but they should not aim to donate the money to the child, he should work hard to become worthy of inheritance if the rich legacy has to continue.

 

 

 

Be ready to pay the price to achieve a dream……

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We all set goals in life , what we want to achieve, where we want to see ourselves in a given time frame but then why most of us fail to achieve what we started with the aim of achieving.

One of the reason for the failures, I found, was that in most cases actually the goals set are not our own, we don’t actually own them. A child, from early years, is being generally directed by the parents, teachers / elders towards a set goal and the child mentally starts accepting that’s what he wants to achieve or that’s what he wants to be.
His own dream remains buried deep down in his thoughts not allowed to flourish for various reasons.

As the child grows and gets into the professional field he gets exposed to the world and realises that’s not what he was born to do, his heart and mind is somewhere else. But not many have the heart to take that decision or the risk to change over and continues trying to excel in something he / she never actually loved. They try to adjust to the environment they are not comfortable with, and the goal post changes.

Not many parents / teachers encourage the child to take decisions, whereas the main aim of education , formal / informal , should be to empower the child with decision making abilities .By the time he understands decision making , he thinks its too late to take the risk of change and generally compromises. You compromise and the dream will be dead.

It’s not an easy task to realise the purpose of one’s life, what one wants to be. Some may get the enlightenment very early in life while most may take years and there is nothing wrong in it. The day you realise it , start working for it . Have the heart to follow your dream . The inability to follow the heart, the dream , is solely the failure of the individual and no one else can be blamed for it.

The issue of financial safety and security is drilled deep in our brains as we grow up. We are generally risk averse .We are not ready to pay the price attached to realising the dream. The price may be in the form of money , time or extra effort.

A dream like having a ‘Startup” may include the price of losing the security of present job, if you already have one. The risk of failure and losing all money will always be attached to it. Your family may also have to struggle along with you . Are they ready for it or are you ready to make them go through it? The dream may be a non-starter for want of finances or inability to take risks.

A dream of being a good mountaineer, having a good body and the like will require sacrifices of having a strict time and diet regimens . Getting up early and putting in extra hours over and above as required for your daily routine commitments. Specialised training over a long period under expert supervision. Only a truly dedicated person will succeed where the majority are bound to fail or just give up.

Simple dreams of being a singer, musician a dancer will require hard training over a sustained period of time. Many may just back out for reasons of time.

For a dream to be realised the basic requirement is a strong mind and heart. You have to make your decision after a deliberate thought and analysis. Be ready to face the risk not caring about what others may think. Be ready to put in that extra effort or burn the midnight oil as you train hard. Stay focused , not wavering in the face of odds. Chart your own path when no one seems to be giving you company. You will fall not once but many times, have the ability to get up and move on.

A dream should never be solely linked to making money . A dream is more related to being happy, getting satisfaction, than just make money.

“Be ready to pay the price ….To realise a dream”

“Be ready to pay the price ….To realise a dream”