Success….Write your own story….

People have no patience, always impatient to get results, do not want to through the paces of decision making and making a choice. Everyone wants to taste success but most do not want to go through the paces required to reach the destination. They look for shortcuts or manipulations in the desire to get the results at the earliest. There are students who want to get maximum marks without studying and understanding the concepts from the prescribed books (they prefer to cram up the answers from the guide books available off the shelf) while there are others who want to achieve success by just being in the good books of teachers. 

effort Continue reading “Success….Write your own story….”

Develop a good hobby….Keep sane all your life….

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 Wikipedia defines hobby as a regular activity, interest, enthusiasm, or pastime that is undertaken for pleasure or relaxation, done during one’s own time. Hobbyists engage in five broad types of activity: collectingmaking and tinkering (like embroidery), activity participation (like fishing and singing), sports and games, and liberal-arts hobbies (like languages, cuisine, literature). 

Continue reading “Develop a good hobby….Keep sane all your life….”

Got to have a Goal to score a Goal…..

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Just dreaming and imagining is not enough to be a  winner, you will only win if you decide to win, if winning is your ultimate goal. Most go wrong in selection of the aim, the goal. I have come across many young players for whom representing their state or the country is the ultimate aim. But is that enough? You got to play to win, the ultimate aim being to win for the country/ team.  Continue reading “Got to have a Goal to score a Goal…..”

Thank you for helping me make a better choice…find my passion….

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Rejection, whatever may be the cause always causes hurt. Most of us face rejection sometime or the other. It may range from minor rejections like a friend ignoring a post on social network site, a friendship request being ignored to more serious ones like partner walking out of marriage, denied a promotion or being rejected in a job interview.

Our brains are not geared to accept rejection and it always leads to moments of low, a feeling of disgust, the duration varying from person to person.  Every rejection is followed by a period of self-blame, becoming extremely self-critical. More the number of rejection we go through more self-critical we get.

Rejection may be for a variety of reasons. In a personal/ professional relation, you may not be lacking anything, maybe the other person (friend/ boss/ owner) is suffering from a complex and looks for a reason to break/ withdraw. Lack of qualification may not be the treason always for rejection in interviews, it is just that you may not have the particular qualification or experience the company is looking for or they consider you over qualified for that particular job. Do not be in a hurry to write yourself off or feel disgusted.

Rejection, as a word, should be removed from the vocabulary, it conveys a negative sentiment which is not warranted at all. In this competitive world you may not get a job not because you don’t meet the laid down qualitative requirement (QR) but because there are hundreds who meet the QR and they had to take only one and it was just not your day. Similar things happen in personal relation where a girl/ boy may turn down a proposal because it doesn’t fit the parameters they have laid for their life partner. Maybe they feel too overawed and subdued and just back down.

Any obstacle/ rejection which comes in life guides you towards a better option. Do not be in a hurry to get tied up in a job or relationship. Take your time, you will find the match, personal/ professional. Once you find your match, you will, more often than not, be happy that you were not selected for the previous jobs. You will be thankful to them for helping you make a better choice, find your passion.

“Rejection should not lead to feeling of disgust, Stay positive, it may be an indication that you deserve something/ someone better”

Let not fear of failure dictate the choice you make….

Tough Decisions Ahead Road Sign

 

 I was interacting with some 12th Grade students a few days back on the reasons for the subjects they had chosen to pursue. Most of those from humanities had surprisingly opted for their subjects not because they loved them or were passionate about. One of the main reason for opting for the humanities stream was their fear of the science subjects specially Mathematics and Physics/ Chemistry. It is not that they were very good in the subjects they had chosen to pursue but they were confident that at least they will be able to pass. Most of them had barely managed to pass in the science / maths in their junior classes. 

The main reason these students fear Maths or science is that from the initial years in school the teachers & parents failed to guide them or instill confidence in them, forcing them to opt for the seemingly easier option of humanities. The sole aim is to pass. There is hardly any grooming and counselling carried out in junior classes. The students don’t have a clear vision, don’t know their purpose/ passion or what they want to achieve in life. The complete meaning of education is being lost inside the four walls of the school. Education is supposed to prepare the child for life but in actual he is getting lost in the schools in the maze of marks which leaves him confused and dazed. Teachers and parents have to help the child in finding his/her passion and support him/ her in following it. The child has to be empowered to make his own decision. 

The trend, of taking the easier option, continues with most people throughout the life. Even while selecting the profession the desire of getting a job at the earliest and finances generally rule over all other factors. The fear of remaining jobless for long plays heavily on the young minds and force them to hang on to whatever they get. Most people take the first available job and avoid taking risks. They may not like the work atmosphere, get no professional satisfaction, but still carry on because of various pressures. 

Even marriages, in Indian context, are at times forced upon the children by the parents. This trend is more prominent in cases of girls whom parents desire to marry off at the earliest possible opportunity. No one wants the child to stay unmarried for long. Parents are more worried about the society than about the future of the child. 

How can one excel in life when most choices made are results of fear? Choices have to be made based on passion and love then only satisfaction will be achieved. The triad of student, parent and child has to work in unison to help child find his passion, his purpose. Then alone the child will be make the correct choices in life and achieve satisfaction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When should you quit??

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Never give up, Never say die, Never quit; the favourite quotes of the proponents of positivism, the motivators form the basis of majority of the messages forwarded around, without much thought, on Social network sites/ WhatsApp since early morning. 

Yes, Never ever give up on your dream because of the fear of failure, because you imagine yourself becoming a laughing stock if you fail or because you think you will never be able to manage the finances but there will be situations when you will have to take a call to change tracks in life and ‘move on’. 

When should you quit? What can force you to quit? There are situations when you get bored with your profession, when you think you are not getting enough; enough money, enough time for yourself. Are these good enough reasons to quit? Money one can earn any amount but what matters most is satisfaction, happiness. Is the job giving you inner satisfaction? 

Are there enough growth opportunities in what you are doing? The most compelling reason for one to quit any job is lack of growth incentives on offer. The time you feel you have started to stagnate, there is no mental growth, no learning, you are bound to get bored and performance is bound to be adversely affected. This is the time to quit, time to change path. “The ultimate aim being happiness, the time you stop enjoying the journey, it is time to change the route and/ or the means of travel”. 

When there are no growth avenues, your juniors start overtaking you, frustration is bound to set in. This will not only affect your personal life but also lives of your family members. Do not force yourself to continue and in the process keep slipping down the ladder. It is time to analyse, take deliberate stock of the situation and take a call. 

The indications start coming very early, in any field, of stagnation likely to set in. One should be wise enough to read these indications, take the hint and start planning a change. Yes, continuous monetary flow may get disrupted for sometime till you settle down somewhere else, but if you have prepared well, you don’t have to worry much. Keep your spouse/ parents informed and prepare them for the likely hardships they might face as you start your struggle all over again. If you explain, they will certainly understand. 

“Trust your skills, trust your instincts, control your emotions, take your chances…. No use trying to give your best at a place where you are not wanted”

Don’t let someone else’s opinion become your reality….

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Any invention or discovery is the result of a dream and a never say die attitude. As you set course to give wings to your dreams there will be whole lot of people around expressing opinions; mostly negative or trying to infuse caution. Most will be, intentionally or unintentionally, aimed at discouraging you. It’s up to you to take that opinion or leave it. 

Any change is resisted. Most people try to discourage because they themselves either never tried or failed. The dream is yours, you have to take it to a logical conclusion. Yes, listen to opinions, take a considerate view but the final call has to be yours. Every uncharted path involves taking risks, fear of the unknown. You may have catered for 100 contingencies but it’s the 101st which will come to stare you in your face. You will not come out triumphant always, there will be partial successes/ failures which have to be taken in the stride. You don’t have to worry about what people will think. There are high chances of being laughed / mocked at every failure you face. More the failures, louder will be the laughter. 

No dream is the preserve of any particular class, region or religion. Everyone/ anyone can dream and fall in love with whatever they want. Maximum pressure on a dreamer comes in the form of family name, traditions and finances. Traditions can’t be followed forever, change is a must in society, it’s your call. Hardly any dream has ever failed for want of finances. Main reason for failure is always lack of a clear vision, inability to take risks and absorb failures. When you have a clear vision and the will to follow the dream finance will follow. The flow of finance may be slow at the start but should never be the reason to hold you back. Once you have taken the first step you will find the path. “It’s better to get lost in search of your love than to sit in the cosy confines of your home and sulk all your life”. Take firm steps, at times it’s better to take even baby steps and be firmly footed than to attempt an uncalculated long leap and go down a ditch, with little chance of recovery. As long as you are alive, there will always be another chance, opportunities will keep knocking at the door. 

Whatever be your dream; to be a scientist, singer, musician, dancer, pilot, mountaineer and the like; give it a sincere try. Attempt at whatever age you gather the courage to, do not die with a regret in your heart of never having attempted. 

To be successful you have to first win the war waging within, convince yourself that you want it and can do it, clear your mental blocks than only you can convince others.

“Dream, take your chances, do not worry about opinions, move out, follow your love, live your life”