Do you have it in you…Courage, confidence, choice….

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Have a dream, follow it with passion, setbacks will be there but never give up, succeed you will. This is ‘one template fit all’ formula most motivational speakers have for most startups / new entrants. If it was all just this easy then why does one see so many failures around. For every one success story there will be many failures to read about. Well, passion, hard work are all the necessary ingredients of a success story and most people apparently have them in good amount.  Why do they still fail to achieve the desired goals? 

Courage is the main virtue, most people lack. While they may have the courage to dream, most do not have enough courage to express, courage to go against the established norms, courage to take risks, courage to learn & unlearn, courage to face failures, overcome fears and the courage to get up again. Courage to own a failure, to accept mistakes, going all over again to find the right solution and moving ahead matters most in the run up to success. If you don’t have the courage to jump into the pool you will never learn swimming and just keep dreaming about it. 

From courage flows ‘Self Confidence’, the most important ingredient required to break a new path. Confidence comes through education, learning from the books, contemporaries, competitors and from your own mistakes. Once you have learnt, acquired the right skills and the right company, you will move ahead with confidence ready to take risks and face any obstacle. 

It’s the combination of courage and confidence which gives the power to make choices. To make a choice between the perceived right and wrong, to make the choice of taking or not taking risks. Most important of all, confidence helps you in making the choice to follow your dream when whole world appears to be against it.

 

“It’s the combination of Courage, Confidence and ability to make right choices which will lead you to success”

When should you quit??

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Never give up, Never say die, Never quit; the favourite quotes of the proponents of positivism, the motivators form the basis of majority of the messages forwarded around, without much thought, on Social network sites/ WhatsApp since early morning. 

Yes, Never ever give up on your dream because of the fear of failure, because you imagine yourself becoming a laughing stock if you fail or because you think you will never be able to manage the finances but there will be situations when you will have to take a call to change tracks in life and ‘move on’. 

When should you quit? What can force you to quit? There are situations when you get bored with your profession, when you think you are not getting enough; enough money, enough time for yourself. Are these good enough reasons to quit? Money one can earn any amount but what matters most is satisfaction, happiness. Is the job giving you inner satisfaction? 

Are there enough growth opportunities in what you are doing? The most compelling reason for one to quit any job is lack of growth incentives on offer. The time you feel you have started to stagnate, there is no mental growth, no learning, you are bound to get bored and performance is bound to be adversely affected. This is the time to quit, time to change path. “The ultimate aim being happiness, the time you stop enjoying the journey, it is time to change the route and/ or the means of travel”. 

When there are no growth avenues, your juniors start overtaking you, frustration is bound to set in. This will not only affect your personal life but also lives of your family members. Do not force yourself to continue and in the process keep slipping down the ladder. It is time to analyse, take deliberate stock of the situation and take a call. 

The indications start coming very early, in any field, of stagnation likely to set in. One should be wise enough to read these indications, take the hint and start planning a change. Yes, continuous monetary flow may get disrupted for sometime till you settle down somewhere else, but if you have prepared well, you don’t have to worry much. Keep your spouse/ parents informed and prepare them for the likely hardships they might face as you start your struggle all over again. If you explain, they will certainly understand. 

“Trust your skills, trust your instincts, control your emotions, take your chances…. No use trying to give your best at a place where you are not wanted”

Be humble in victory, Graceful in defeat….Be a sport….

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 Football World cup 2018 is on and West Germany, the No 1 ranking football team of the world has been eliminated in the initial round having lost to Mexico (ranked No 15) and South Korea (ranked No 57). Iceland, smallest nation to qualify in the World cup, and Switzerland holding their mighty opponents Argentina and Brazil to one all draw in their respective games are the other major upsets. There have been many games where the winner has been decided in the very last minute. This clearly indicates that the ranking you enjoy doesn’t matter in the game, what matters is how much you have progressed, the hard work/ preparation and the ‘Never Give up’ attitude. The opponent’s history and ranking should not bother you, what matters is your belief in your own skill. The match is not over till the final whistle has been blown, a goal can be scored in the very last second and the entire narrative changes. 

Every team, irrespective of the ranking they enjoy, is stepping out on the field with the will to win. This is what life is exactly all about. People with a ‘never say die attitude’, always willing to learn, improve their skills and work hard are bound to be the winners. Once you enter the field, do not bother about the reputation of opponents, enter with a fresh mind and belief in your own skills and you will succeed. Yes, do not forget to carry out a detailed study of the skills and abilities of the opponents; this will certainly help you in preparing well. Learn from them, use their strength and weakness to your advantage. Do not ever let the past victories go to your head or make you complacent. Every game is a new game, every team is there to win. Do not ever take any opponent lightly. 

Another big takeaway from the World cup results thus far has been the sportsman spirit on display. Aptly described in Wikipedia, Sportsman spirit is an aspiration or ethos that a sport or an activity will be enjoyed for its own sake, with proper consideration for fairness, ethics, respect and a sense of fellowship with one’s competitors. One got to be a ‘good sport’ meaning accepting victory with humility and being graceful in defeat. This is so true in life as such. If the victories get to your head or you keep brooding over the losses for too long you are bound to fail in the long run. 

“To succeed in life be a ‘good player’; Humble in victory, graceful in defeat (failure), learning from every experience and moving on” 

“It’s the team which matters, individuals should work to make the team strong; When ‘Me’ becomes ‘Us’ success is bound to follow”

Don’t let someone else’s opinion become your reality….

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Any invention or discovery is the result of a dream and a never say die attitude. As you set course to give wings to your dreams there will be whole lot of people around expressing opinions; mostly negative or trying to infuse caution. Most will be, intentionally or unintentionally, aimed at discouraging you. It’s up to you to take that opinion or leave it. 

Any change is resisted. Most people try to discourage because they themselves either never tried or failed. The dream is yours, you have to take it to a logical conclusion. Yes, listen to opinions, take a considerate view but the final call has to be yours. Every uncharted path involves taking risks, fear of the unknown. You may have catered for 100 contingencies but it’s the 101st which will come to stare you in your face. You will not come out triumphant always, there will be partial successes/ failures which have to be taken in the stride. You don’t have to worry about what people will think. There are high chances of being laughed / mocked at every failure you face. More the failures, louder will be the laughter. 

No dream is the preserve of any particular class, region or religion. Everyone/ anyone can dream and fall in love with whatever they want. Maximum pressure on a dreamer comes in the form of family name, traditions and finances. Traditions can’t be followed forever, change is a must in society, it’s your call. Hardly any dream has ever failed for want of finances. Main reason for failure is always lack of a clear vision, inability to take risks and absorb failures. When you have a clear vision and the will to follow the dream finance will follow. The flow of finance may be slow at the start but should never be the reason to hold you back. Once you have taken the first step you will find the path. “It’s better to get lost in search of your love than to sit in the cosy confines of your home and sulk all your life”. Take firm steps, at times it’s better to take even baby steps and be firmly footed than to attempt an uncalculated long leap and go down a ditch, with little chance of recovery. As long as you are alive, there will always be another chance, opportunities will keep knocking at the door. 

Whatever be your dream; to be a scientist, singer, musician, dancer, pilot, mountaineer and the like; give it a sincere try. Attempt at whatever age you gather the courage to, do not die with a regret in your heart of never having attempted. 

To be successful you have to first win the war waging within, convince yourself that you want it and can do it, clear your mental blocks than only you can convince others.

“Dream, take your chances, do not worry about opinions, move out, follow your love, live your life”

Whose permission are you waiting for????….Move out of the shadow to excel….

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All parents desire an obedient child. There is nothing wrong in a child being obedient. There has to be some discipline in life, majority of the parents take it too far and desire that the child should blindly follow all orders; submissive to authority. Most parents desire that the child should seek their permission/ approval before taking any step. This may be correct to an extent in the initial years of life when the child is just learning and may not have the ability to make his own decisions. 

This desire is one of the main reason contributing to the children not achieving their set goals in future. The child gets so used to seeking permissions / approvals that even after his own professional/ business carrier the habit refuses to leave him/ her. He looks around for approvals from parents / seniors / colleagues / spouse before starting something new. This is what leads to failure as maybe he is trying to do something which actually is not his preference/ choice; he is got into it because he is incapable of making his own decisions or mentally too weak to say No to others. 

Learn to make your decisions. It’s your life, you know what’s best for you. You don’t have to take permissions from others. Yes, keep your parents/ partner informed, seek their inputs where needed, discuss with them but final decision has to be yours. Make your own decisions, be your own boss. If you can’t be even your own boss then you certainly can’t lead others. 

“Move out of the shadow…..If you want to grow in life…”

Effective communication…..Key to success….

 

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Communication is the key to success. Communication may be verbal or non-verbal, just expressions convey it all. Good communication skills are a must to convey a view point, to convince people. You may have the facts and logic right but if you are not able to put across it to the target audience in a convincing manner then you may fail to get their approval. 

At home, the art of communication matters in keeping the happiness index high. Dialogues are any day better than monologues. Allow the kids to express their but most of them may be poor in face to face and written communication. Most of them get nervous with the thought of getting on to the stage. It’s the responsibility of parents and teachers to develop the communication skills of the children. This will help the kids in facing the world, head on, in future. They will not develop cold feet facing interviews or giving presentations. 

In offices, a word of appreciation or even a ‘smily’ through the email from the senior will go a long way in keeping the junior motivated. Hugs still matter and can-do magic. An arm round the shoulder, a pat on the back or a casual inquiry about the well-being helps in keeping the atmosphere stress free in the work places. Hear everyone, take feedback, it positively helps in improving and making the right decisions. Empathy matters more than sympathy in work places. 

Communication helps social interaction. Many professionals have lost out on growth prospects because of bad word of mouth reputation. This doesn’t mean a senior should mollycoddle the juniors. Be firm in your professional dealings and have total control on the language you use and be humane in behaviour. 

“Communication skills matter the most in a professional career and personal life….You can honestly convey whatever you wanted to…..without actually saying much” 

“ Boys …You are likely to lose out on a potential girlfriend for want of good communication skills …..learn to communicate effectively…”

Feet moving ,mind ticking…..you will go places….

 

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It’s a blessing in anyone’s life that, at the end of it all, when you bid final adieu to life, the mind and limbs are fully functional. People should remember you as the one who loved and lived life to the fullest. 

Feet moving and mind ticking basically implies a positive state of mind and making all attempts, going to any distance, meeting people to find solutions or resolving issues. Even as people are getting more and more desk bound, sticking to their work stations for long hours it is the active limbs and mind which are keeping them on the go. 

An active mind implies the power to be decisive, to translate your thoughts into vision. It’s the combination of active feet and mind which will help translate dreams into reality. The mind imagines, thinks things through, lays down a vision and the strong body helps in reaching the set goal. Invest in body and mind, feed them well. Keep upgrading knowledge base and keep fit. When you walk the distance, you will be in a position to understand your team better, you will learn to empathise. 

Most negative issues crop up in personal or professional lives due to our inability to move out and meet people, discuss issues. Though technology aids in interacting online, without leaving the comfort of the office or home, but such meetings are generally devoid of emotions, the personal touch is lacking. One has to get out of the comfort zone, take risks to excel. Technology just aids, it cannot replace the personal touch and emotions. 

Desk bound, long hours in the office is taking its toll on the body and mind. Breaks are a must to rejuvenate and re-energise the mind and body. Stop living from weekend to weekend, enjoy life, live each day. Have time for yourself, family and friends. Be active mentally and physically, move out with family, move out to meet friends or just move out to just be with nature. 

“There is a life beyond work stations, walk the distance….you are bound to make friends …find friends… and certainly find answers to most of your perceived problems..”