Killing softly with the words……

soft kill


Killing softly and slowly with our words is what many of us actually do daily without even realising it. Most affected are the people around us, relations, office colleagues (specially subordinates).

We cause hurt by our arrogance, rude behaviour, derogatory language, causing humiliation and what not. It’s not about killing physically, but killing emotionally, breaking the confidence, hurting self- respect, subduing initiative.

“I will tell you what to do/ how to do” and “I know better” or “I am more experienced” syndrome is so prevalent in our lives and we just refuse to give it up, knowing fully well that this the main reason affecting growth, both personal and professional. At home the elders (generally the father) and in the offices the seniors are the ‘killers’. Being elder/ senior doesn’t necessarily mean we know better/ are more experienced. “Experience is more related to the situation one has been through in life and how he/ she responded to it, it has got less to do with the number of years one has spent on earth or in the same office”.

Being elder/ senior doesn’t give anyone a right to hurt/ humiliate. Most of the time the arrogant behaviour is the result of our own insecurities. We refuse to accept our weaknesses, make no efforts to improve and hide behind the veil of arrogance and our seniority.

Arrogant behaviour of senior, regular humiliation, more than teaching actually pushes the junior/ child away. As an elder the aim should always be to empower the younger by sharing your acquired wisdom guiding him through, facilitating him find solutions. The root cause of the problem lies in the fact that most of us refuse to grow out of the boot of being a ‘father/mother’ or a senior. Instead try being and elder, friend and guide. Moment the relationship paradigm changes you will find a definitive change in the environment. You will not be a killer anymore, rather you will be ‘adding’.


“Soft skills and not soft kills are what makes the person and organisation grow, improve your skills”

Employee …. Soul of any Organisation….


Performance evaluations and counselling is a constant process in any organisation. The aim is to keep the organisation in good health by improving on the shortcomings, removing the non-performers or transplanting them where they suit better. One of the most important aspects on which depends the future of any organisation but at times not paid the attention it deserves. More than just firing the role of Performance Evaluation is for improving. Firing is always an option but not the only option.

Employees are the heart and soul of any organisation and on their health depends the health of the organisation. Everyone wants to hire the best , under the given circumstances, however, it has to be understood that no one can be perfect. An employer should not expect all employees to be as good in the performance as he himself is. No one can be expected to love the organisation as much as the owner. Given the prevalent circumstances in the job market where money / salary matters the most one cannot expect total dedication from an employee . The employee, in most cases, will take a plunge, whenever he gets a seemingly better opportunity, that is higher salary or better work culture. Only exceptions may be the government organisation where the employees generally works from joining till retirement and  enjoys the privilege of non performing and still getting the same salary as the performer and if he is smarter , manage the promotions too. This option is not available to the workers in ever growing private sector.

How does one then retain his people and keep them motivated to give their best always . A very difficult proposition for any business. One must understand that everyone cannot be same in performance. Expecting perfection is a Big No. The requirement is of the employees who give an above average performance constantly at the scale of 7 to 9 out of 10. Varied types of employees are required to sustain an organisation and outperform the competition. Having all ‘Perfect’ employees may be counter-productive because in most cases then not they will find it difficult to co-exist, being constantly under the impression that they know more than the others. Now that will certainly be harmful for the health any organisation.

Aim should not be to hire the best but to get the best out of people hired. How does one achieve this? Very early in my service career I had learnt a very simple principle of employees management from a boss of mine; Every man is good in something, develop the capability to see / understand goodness in people / things and use them for what they are good in. You cannot expect a fish to climb trees. Hire them and employ them for what they are good it. Do not keep trying to ‘Fit’ people where you want. The day a boss understands this, everyone and the organisation will be happy.

Understand the needs of your employees. They will have wants and desires too , but you focus at their needs. The first basic need is of self-respect and empowerment. Give them respect and appreciate the efforts they put in even when they have not been able to achieve the desired target. The shortcomings have to be boldly underlined and driven home but without humiliation or threat. Facilitate employees in

sharpening their skills and acquiring new ones which help them in their personal growth and the growth of organisation.

As a boss / Team leader , do not try to micro manage. Help people grow, by allowing them space for self-expression and encouraging new ideas. Do carry out analysis periodically and help them make corrections / rectifications but do not hover over their head 24 X 7 . Give them space to breathe and think. Remember what General George S Patton said ages back “Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity”.

Try and understand the reasons for low performance by an employee. In most cases reasons are other than professional; a break up , an ailing family member and the like. Not withstanding the reason , the boss should be there to guide  , counsel or support them as the need be. More than firing , an understanding attitude of the bosses help in the growth of the organisation and helps in bringing out the best from the employees.

Ensure a good working environment. Do not keep breathing down the neck of the employees setting unrealistic targets which may only burn down the employees and finally the organisation / business. Do not keep changing the goal post / aim . If it has been realistically set then a change will be seldom required.

Take care of the physical, physiological and emotional needs of your people and they will give the best. A good work culture is a great motivator and the best facilitator for employee retention.

Employees are the heart and soul of any organisation, take care of them and they will take care of the business growth. 

“As a boss your aim should be to build a happy team where all members are always willing to facilitate each other’s growth thus leading to the overall growth of the organisation”.