The relationship dividers….

In an earlier blog I had discussed the ways to maintain happiness in the married life, here in this blog I will be discussing the different habits/ behaviours which generally drive a wedge in a relationship. When two people are in love, they tend to overlook lot many differences which later in life may become the reason for straining or breaking a relationship. Right mix of love and friendship is the fuel which drives any relationship. Like love, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee though options of limited warranties to repair a crack are always there. Constant efforts are required to be taken to sustain a relationship. In my view the main irritants which may finally drive love away and bring in a divide in any relationship are as given in succeeding paras.

Family

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Quitting the race for a College degree….

 Two things are very deeply ingrained in the Indian psyche: obtaining a college degree and landing up a good job. Most of the students are not bothered what they are graduating in but they just go through the college for three reasons; one it gives them an opportunity to spend good three years of life in the company of peers , friends; two it keeps the parents off their trail, keeps the parents happy and three some think that obtaining a degree will open up avenues for better jobs.

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Understanding your why….

The basic cause of unhappiness in most people’s life comes from failure to understand their why. They spent their lives trying to find out why others are happier than them, earning more money than them or scoring more marks than them; living in the ‘uski saree meri saree se safed kiun’ syndrome (Why her saree is whiter than mine syndrome).

why

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Missing the hugs and the smiles….

The pandemic has affected the life of a common man the most, the life of ‘Aam Aadmi” like me who derive happiness from small things in life; small things like the hugs and smiles matter the most to me. But now all the 24 X 7 News channels having successfully sold the fear story that every man who hugs, will get a dose of Ms Corona free, (chances improve manifolds if the hug is given to a stranger) has ensured that  no one is willing to even come closer than two metres leave alone giving a hug. Corona ably aided by the over indulgent TV channels has managed to do something in a matter of couple of months which even an overtly possessive spouse could not do in years; blown the hugs and the kisses (the friendly ones) out from the life without much ado.

jhappi

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Live your dreams…follow your passion…

dreams

A few days back, I met an old acquaintance of mine after a long time. He was a sports enthusiast and during the course of our conversation he mentioned about an experience when his raft had overturned while negotiating a dangerous rapid in a mountain river and all occupants were thrown into the turbulent water. While others managed to get safety, he was carried away by the strong currents to some distance before he could get hold of a rock protruding in the middle of the river and hung on to it for nearly 30 minutes before he could be rescued.

When asked what was going through his mind for those 30 minutes that he hung on the rock for life, and he thought death was staring in his face, he said the first response was a desperate appeal to God to come to his aid and save him, but as he spent more time hanging on to the rock the past 30 years of his life flashed through his mind. His dreams, what all he had thought to accomplish/ do in life, condition of his ailing wife who required his support, his kids, the under- construction house, everything went through his mind. He had so many unaccomplished tasks/ dreams which he had been delaying for one reason or the other. He prayed to God to save him as he was just 30 and had so much left to do in life. After his safe return from that journey his complete focus in life was on completing the tasks he had set for himself, achieving his dreams. He had seen death from close quarters and realised the worth of life and more importantly he had realised the true meaning of ‘Living’ life, living dreams.

Hearing his story, I was reminded of a song sung by Doris Day (written by Carl Sigman/ Herbert Magidson) way back in 1950.

Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself
It’s later than you think.

You work and work for years and years
You’re always on the go
Never take a minute off
To busy makin’ dough
Someday, you say, you’ll have your fun
When you’re a millionaire
Imagine all the fun you’ll have
In your old rockin’ chair

Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think
Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink
The years go by as quickly as a wink
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself
It’s later than you think.
(Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself it’s later than you think)

Your heart of hearts, your dream of dreams
Your ravishing brunettes
Has left you now and she’s become
Somebody else’s pet (pity isn’t it)
Lay down that gun, don’t try my friend
To reach the great beyond
You’ll have more fun by reaching
For a red-head or a blonde

Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think
Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink
The years go by as quickly as a wink
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself
It’s later than you think.
(Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself it’s later than you think)

There’s another thing I want to tell you too.

You love somebody very much
You’d like to set the date
But money doesn’t grow on trees
So you decide to wait (Foolish Fellow)
You’re so afraid that you will bite off
More than you can chew
Don’t be afraid, you won’t have teeth
When you reach ninety-two.

Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think
Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink
The years go by as quickly as a wink
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy yourself
It’s later than you think.
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy yourself it’s later than you think…

Each and every word of this song is so relevant even today and I think will remain relevant forever. This is exactly what life is all about, we keep delaying things constantly changing our goal posts as long as the going is smooth, when suddenly an accident throws life out of gear and we are left regretting what all we have left unfinished. We carry the worries of our securing our future too far and miss out on living and enjoying the present. Why should it take a negative event to make us consider doing something good? Why should we wait for a dark moment to happen in life to show us the light? Life is so unpredictable, earlier we realise it is the better. Make your list, set your priorities and work to achieve your goals/ live your dreams.

Life is all about choices we make. Whatever we do/ achieve is the result of the choices we make. Do not keep waiting for the right moment to start/ do something. Every moment is right, just have the will to make it your own. One doesn’t have to throw caution to winds but certain amount of risk has to be taken to achieve something new. “Do not plunge blindly, but when the only escape route is the river in spate, just jump into it, there are high chances of you reaching the bank”.

Identify your purpose in life and follow it with passion. Time doesn’t wait for anyone/ anything.

“Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think
Enjoy yourself while you’re still in the pink
The years go by as quickly as a wink
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy yourself
It’s later than you think.
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy yourself it’s later than you think…”

Separated by Corona…. United by Love (Helped by Internet)

Corona has forced the biggest lockdown ever on the normal activities the world over. The lockdown has brought families together and helping people to re-discover the ‘spark’ in the relationships which had gone missing kind courtesy the ever so busy life most of us had so got used to leading.

Quarrel

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Corona – The side effects….

I am a dreamer and always had a strong wish to live some of my dreams and with Ms Corona catching everyone’s attention and imagination, nothing much to do there is more and more time to dream but off late the dreams have slowly started turning into nightmares. Har taraf hai viraana, “Yeh Zameen yeh vaadiyaan yeh aasman, gumsum hai bhala saara sama” (Silence prevails in the sky and on the earth….). The silence is killing literally ‘killing’ man.

Corona 25 years back

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Marriage and the shoe string budget…..

We had a short sweet courtship of three months before we decided to tie the knot. (My Dream Girl – Part 2: Ek ladki bheegi bhaagi si mili ek ajnabee se……)Three months was a good enough period to know and understand each other. The 90 best days of my life, enjoying the newfound company, flying high on cloud 9, love does take you on a different high. We had our fair share of hurdles, though nothing alarming, till we finally reached the stage of ‘saat pheras’ but fortunately both the families never raised any major issues.

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My Dream Girl – Part 2: Ek ladki bheegi bhaagi si mili ek ajnabee se……

I am very fond of travelling and my bachelor status and the profession that I am in both aided me in following my passion for travel. Having always believed that “Ek rasta hai zindagee jo tham gaye to kuch nahin” (Life is a journey on which one must keep moving) I travelled from place to place covering length and breadth of our great nation. While the love of travelling was getting fulfilled the ‘Love of my Life still eluded”, she was nowhere in the sight. My elders and colleagues were pushing me hard to ‘tweak’ my imagination a bit but I was not ready to throw in the towel as yet and the wait for “Shayar ki ghazal, kisi jheel ka kanwal” (the girl as beautiful as the flowing poetry or a lotus in the lake) my dream girl continued.

wait

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Life is beyond earning a salary and paying rentals…..

The other day while browsing the internet I came across this lovely quote “You are not here to just work, wait for weekends and pay rent”.  It is so relevant today where most people are just working 9 am to 9 pm (some even later than that), there are no evenings; the day starts and before one realises it is night. Weekend is the only time left for catching up with lost sleep, friends or relations (Some use it for catching up with laundry too).

 

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