India is a country of many festivals. We love to celebrate and the entire calendar is dotted with various festivals nearly equally spaced out through the year. Holi and Deepawali are two of the major festivals celebrated across the country with great fervour. What makes these two festivals different from others are the colors (Holi) and the lights (Deepawali). Actually, it is the color which adds to the beauty of these two special days; the colours used in Holi and the colorful lights of Deepawali.
Today while scrolling through various posts on Facebook, I came across this wonderful quote which immediately caught my eye and set my mind thinking “Explain your anger, don’t express it, you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments”. Continue reading “Anger….Do not let it get the better of you….. “
India, as a nation is obsessed with sons. Every family craves for a son, there will be very few homes where daughters are treated at par. Even the parents, who today publicly declare themselves proud to have only daughters would have sometime visited all possible doctors, temples and God-men in the search of fulfilling their dream of having a son.
Just dreaming and imagining is not enough to be a winner, you will only win if you decide to win, if winning is your ultimate goal. Most go wrong in selection of the aim, the goal. I have come across many young players for whom representing their state or the country is the ultimate aim. But is that enough? You got to play to win, the ultimate aim being to win for the country/ team. Continue reading “Got to have a Goal to score a Goal…..”
We always take things for granted. As a child we get used to things being provisioned by parents, at times even before we demand it. Most of us have grown in the protective environment with everything being taken care by parents. As we grow up we take our life partners our jobs for granted. We get used to a way of life, both personal and professional, and take it for granted that life will always go on same way.
This is truer for the married ladies who become overtly dependent on their husbands for all their need specially, financial. In Indian subcontinent, most married ladies prefer to be home makers and hardly take interest in the financial management, even the husbands falter and fail to educate the ladies in this aspect. The ladies are not aware of the investments, loans repayment, bank nominations, insurances, property related documents. These are all managed by the husbands. Most of us fail to make and register a ‘WILL’. God forbid, if life takes an unfortunate turn and the husband suddenly passes away the entire family suffers for no fault of theirs. Pain of loss of a husband/ son/ parent can be further compounded if the financial/ insurance / property documents have not been managed well.
The common mistakes which normally most people do are failure to open joint bank accounts or earmarking a nominee authorised to operate the account in the event of death of the main account holder.
The wife/ parents are not aware of the loans taken. Most of us do the mistake of not insuring the home loans, as it increases the value of monthly instalments. If the loan is insured then in the unfortunate event of passing away of the payee the insurance company repays the entire balance amount and the family doesn’t suffer.
The property is registered only in the name of one person and with his passing away the legal hassles of taking over the property starts for the wife/ family. It’s better to have a joint registration of the property to avoid any legal hassles or have a registered ‘WILL” nominating the person to whom the property will pass on.
There is hardly anyone who prepares and registers a proper ‘WILL”. WILL is not talked about or discussed in the Indian families as it relates to death and division of property. Wisdom lies in preparing a detailed WILL and registering it. This will save the survivors from legal hassles and financial loss.
Common things like Digital locker/ Internet banking passwords are lot known to the survivors and does take a prolonged exercise to hold of the new passwords and bank account operating rights. Prudence is in maintaining a physical record of all passwords and user names in a diary, not just on the laptop.
All financial documents should be kept safely and the spouse/ parents should be aware of it. If possible, make two copies and keep at two different places just to cater for accidents. Record to be kept securely online also and in digital locker.
Home makers should be educationally/ professionally qualified to take on the mantle of the ‘Bread winner’ when the need arises. Ability to drive a vehicle is a must.
What I have discussed above is the worst which one can go through in life. People go wrong even in basics, just don’t plan or visualise the future before taking a plunge. You will see numerous cases of newly wed couples trying to settle down in life as early as possible. They get themselves overburdened with loans in the quest to acquire luxuries of life and a sweet home. Banks happily disburse loans based on the present income of the couple. Caution is thrown to the winds while taking loans and people fail to visualise the scenario that will happen if for some reason the job is terminated. No job is guaranteed in private sector. This has happened in many families with jobs getting terminated at short notices, business failing and then they have no way of re-payment of big loans they had taken and lose out on whatever they had acquired. More importantly they end up losing peace of mind. Patience, planning, visualisation, bit of caution is must in life; nothing happens overnight.
“Life takes unexpected turns, enjoy it as long as you can but be always prepared to face any unfortunate eventuality. Strengthen your shoulders when you have the time, you won’t have to look for outside support even in the worst contingency”
Killing softly and slowly with our words is what many of us actually do daily without even realising it. Most affected are the people around us, relations, office colleagues (specially subordinates).
We cause hurt by our arrogance, rude behaviour, derogatory language, causing humiliation and what not. It’s not about killing physically, but killing emotionally, breaking the confidence, hurting self- respect, subduing initiative.
“I will tell you what to do/ how to do” and “I know better” or “I am more experienced” syndrome is so prevalent in our lives and we just refuse to give it up, knowing fully well that this the main reason affecting growth, both personal and professional. At home the elders (generally the father) and in the offices the seniors are the ‘killers’. Being elder/ senior doesn’t necessarily mean we know better/ are more experienced. “Experience is more related to the situation one has been through in life and how he/ she responded to it, it has got less to do with the number of years one has spent on earth or in the same office”.
Being elder/ senior doesn’t give anyone a right to hurt/ humiliate. Most of the time the arrogant behaviour is the result of our own insecurities. We refuse to accept our weaknesses, make no efforts to improve and hide behind the veil of arrogance and our seniority.
Arrogant behaviour of senior, regular humiliation, more than teaching actually pushes the junior/ child away. As an elder the aim should always be to empower the younger by sharing your acquired wisdom guiding him through, facilitating him find solutions. The root cause of the problem lies in the fact that most of us refuse to grow out of the boot of being a ‘father/mother’ or a senior. Instead try being and elder, friend and guide. Moment the relationship paradigm changes you will find a definitive change in the environment. You will not be a killer anymore, rather you will be ‘adding’.
“Soft skills and not soft kills are what makes the person and organisation grow, improve your skills”