Who is making the crucial decisions of your life?

Decisions are what make or mar a life. There are many life-changing decisions an individual makes or allows others to make on his or her behalf. These include the choice of subjects to study in the school, choice of profession, marriage, having children.

Role of influencers in decision making….

The influencers have been playing their roles of affecting decision making in India long before the advent of social media platforms.

Nearly all major decisions in an individual’s life in my country are influenced by the parents/ spouses and some by peers/ friends/ children. Some parents go to the extent of deciding what profession the child will pursue even before he/ she is born. Based on that want of the parents the child makes the choice of subjects he/ she studies.

Very few parents support the children in pursuing sports/ games in school or later as a career. The result is seen in international sports competitions where a nation of 130 crore population hardly ever figures in the medal rankings. Even I am a culprit in this aspect. My daughter is an excellent swimmer and had good interest in badminton. But we, the parents wanted her to pursue science subjects and got her admission in the best coaching institute. This left her no time and energy to pursue her interest in sports.

The choice of profession is dependent more on the peer and societal pressures. Most youth grab the first job offer. Not many are happy with the profession they are in, but few have the courage to accept that and decide to make a change.

Once the individual joins a profession the crucial decisions are generally made by the boss/ leader.

Why do people get married?

Marriage/ selecting the spouse is one of most crucial decision of life. As per me about 75 % of boys get married in India because their parents want them to. Even their life partner is chosen by the elders. About 23 % get married because they could not get NO to the first girl they met in life. It is only about 2 % who get married when they want to and to the person they want to. The 23 % is the most dangerous variety as they get married in a hurry and crash land.

In India nearly 99 % of the married couples do not become parents out of choice. Parenthood just happens to them. It is more a result of excitement than of choice, there is no decision making involved.

My views on marriage….

I strongly feel that the decision of marriage should be left on the boy/ girl. Every girl/ boy should get married to the person of his/ her choice. This is one decision which will affect the individual for life. It should not be made in a hurry nor the responsibility of deciding left to someone else. Parents or elders may give suggestions, but the final decision should be of the boy/ girl. It is better to remain single then marrying the wrong person.

Getting a good life partner is the best investment an individual can make in life. Nothing matters in life more than the peace of mind. A wrong choice made in a hurry can make you go through hell every single day of your life. I always wanted a well-educated, strong headed working professional as my life partner. It was not easy to find one with all the qualities and I got my match at the age of 32. Only thing I can say is that the wait was worth it.

Conclusion….

In individual cases decision making should be left to the people who are most affected by it. The best favour parents/ elders can do for the children is give them the freedom of making decisions. It is not just good for the growth of the child but also for the growth of the nation as well.

Empower the child to Question …to make Decisions…..You have secured his future…

Why are we so quick in forming an opinion?