How well an individual’s mind can imagine, and face rejections will define how successful he/ she will be in life. Read about successful people from any field and you will see that nearly all of them failed multiple times before they finally tasted success.
How well a student performs beyond the school is dependent on how well he/ she can handle rejections. Success is not just getting selected; it is getting selected for what you wanted and doing well there.
Encourage creative thinking….
It should be the prime concern of the parents and the schools to empower the child with creative thinking skills and the ability to withstand rejections. Unfortunately, in India (maybe the world over too) most parents do not give the children the freedom to imagine/ express till a very late stage. They believe in telling the child ‘What to do’ instead of asking what he / she wants. The schools also believe more in tutoring rather than encouraging questioning.
The basic reason parents do not let kids make even small decisions is the fear of failure.
The ill effects can be seen all around. The decision-making skills of a vast majority is so poor. Everyone looks up to his senior/ elder from decision and when there is no one available most run to God. Empower the child to imagine and make informed decisions. This alone will help him/ her in securing a good future.
Facing the failures….
Failures are not just acceptable in our society. Because of fear of becoming a laughingstock very few are willing to move away from the beaten track. Securing admission in a good professional college after passing out from school is more of a matter of pride/ ego than of learning.
People should understand that after graduating from school life is all about the ability to face failures and get going again. It is not easy, but the mind has to be trained for it.
I have seen my son going through this phase after his school when he had to select the college. He could not make the cut for the top IITs for Computer Science (CS), but had the qualifying marks for every other college. A choice had to be made between joining a branch other than CS at IIT or taking up his desired subject in some other college. He chose the subject over the IIT tag and went on to graduate as the ‘Best Student’ from that university. It is not the college/ university but your love for the subject which matters most.
Later again at the end of graduation the search for a job is no less traumatic for the students. The company (one of the best in India) he was aiming to join did not turn up for campus selection that year. He could have tried for other companies. But he wanted to join only that company and wrote a mail to them expressing his desire. To our surprise he was offered the job by that company without facing a single interview. He was fortunate but then fortune favours only if you have something in you and you are not willing to give up. One should not jump for whatever is available and rather make every possible effort to get what he/ she wants.
My wife had to face more than a dozen rejections when she wanted to start her career afresh after a break of few years. At times you are rejected not for lacking in qualification or experience but because the company cannot afford you. It can be very frustrating, but she did not give up. Today she has a much more satisfying job than she had ever thought. The rejection/ obstacles guide you into the right direction and take you to a place you deserve.
Suggestions for youth….
My suggestions to the youth are: –
- Failures/ rejections are as much part of life as any success and should be taken as a normal. Instead of getting into a depressive mood, analyse where you went wrong, prepare better, and go for it again.
- Love/ passion does not fall in your lap you have to try to find it. Keep imagining, keep exploring till both your heart and mind feel comfortable doing something.
- Do not make a choice under peer or parental pressure. Always choose what you love doing/ studying.
- Never be in a hurry to grab whatever is available in the job market. You will never be able to come out of it and keep regretting that decision lifelong.
- You may pick up a job for sustenance. In the 20s a human body requires very less to sustain and has the capability to hustle more. Make best use of this age to hustle for what you love.
- To Succeed….Learn to face rejections…
- Education : Give a child the roots & wings