Insecurity is not uncommon; everyone faces that inner feeling of inadequacy in personal or professional life. The good thing is that most of us are aware of our weaknesses. However, unfortunately instead of making efforts to overcoming the security most look for ways for hiding them. There will be no one who would not have defeated their weakness in their mind, found a way to overcome. But in real life most somehow do not find the courage to practice what the mind had succeeded during self-talk.
I have personally suffered from insecurities as a child. These ranged from the fear of stage, the fear of failure, of not being good enough in anything I did. The shy nature and the weakness in spoken English was the main cause of all insecurities. Since, I failed to address them during my childhood all of these accompanied me to the adulthood.
Causes of Insecurity
The root cause of most insecurities lies in the past. They are results of negative events which occurred in the past and the individual failed to find a way out of those thoughts.
It may be the way the person was treated as a child by the parents/ elders or the caretaker. There are homes where a child is not given the liberty to make decisions, express the mind freely or make friends of their choice. Children are not allowed to interact with visitors coming to home. At times elders are too harsh in their behaviour with the child. All this may make the person introvert and shy. They are not comfortable during public interactions and even may fail to make good relationships.
There are children (even adults) who were made fun off due to failures they met in life. Even the elders/ friends failed to give them emotional support when they needed most. If corrective actions are not taken the person will carry that impression throughout his/ her life and get unduly stressed while undergoing similar situation. This attitude may adversely affect their personal and professional life for long. They may lack self-confidence for life.
Often children are made fun off due to colour of skin or looks and may suffer from inferiority complex throughout life.
Even youths/ adults may develop feeling of ‘not being god enough; after failing successively in competitive examinations or interviews.
There are people who become too dependent on any individual for all their emotional and physical needs due to certain situations at home or office. They get too worried about ‘What will happen if the relationship ends?’. The mere thought of relationship ending causes high level of stress.
Mental health issues also stimulate anxiety and stress in a person. Unfortunately, in most cases people suffering from mental health issues live in denial and refuse to take professional help. This further aggravates the problem with age.
Ways to overcome insecurities
No child is born an introvert or shy. It is only when he/ she grows up and sees the elders reacting/ responding to situations/ behaving in particular ways that he also learns the habit of developing cold feet. The child also gets into the act of fearing the unknown, learns to get worried for no reason.
The best way to prevent insecurities cropping up in the head of the child is by letting him/ her to be original. But unfortunately, most of us elders do not feel as complete parents till we enforce our will on the child. The child is admonished time and again for not doing things in a way he/ she is told to do. No individual wants to do anything against his will but unfortunately in most cases the child has no option. In the bargain the children end up repeatedly doing things they do not agree with. This only reinforces the feeling of hatred, in their mind, for that act.
Most people resort to hiding, bypassing, or sweeping the insecurities under the carpet. But weaknesses cannot be hidden or overlooked for long. The insecurities have this nagging habit of raising their head when you least want them.
The first step towards overcoming the insecurity is by accepting their existence. Once the insecurity has been accepted then the next natural step is to work out a strategy to face them.
Fear of drowning may scare a non-swimmer from jumping into the swimming pool. But the only way he/ she can learn swimming is by entering the pool. But the individual will only enter the pool once he/she is convinced and develops a trust that his trainer and equipment won’t allow him/her to drown. Likewise, stage fear can only be overcome by getting onto the stage. Yes, preparations have to be made. The elders/ peers/ teachers should help the child to develop that trust and take the plunge in doing something he/ she thinks is undoable.
Understanding the root cause of any insecurity is of utmost importance. The cause may lie in the past, in a relationship or mental health conditions.
Once the root cause has been identified the next step is to talk about it with trusted people, elders, or friends. Openly discussing the issue may make finding the solution easier. You may come across people who have gone through similar situations and overcome them. Google is always there with bright answers, but it is better to discuss them with people you trust before adopting.
Elders and peers also help by bringing into focus the achievements of the individual. Making him/ her realise how good he/ she is in certain aspects of life works as a big morale booster. It will help the individual in facing his/ her weaknesses in a better way.
Lastly, parents being non-swimmers themselves does not mean that the child cannot be trained to be a swimmer. Professional help should be sought for overcoming any insecurity when the need arises.
Anxiety, worries are a common occurrence in life though not everyone’s life gets disrupted because of them. However, it is better to take remedial measures or seek professional help once any insecurity starts hampering normal life.