Starting and sustaining a conversation…..

I have said it before in different blogs that I was a shy child, preferred my own space and to an extent my own company unless some close friends were around who were far and few. The way that I was it was always a difficult proposition for me to start a conversation with a stranger or for that matter even known people with whom I was not too close. From then to now life has taken a 180 degree turn and some would certainly like to say that I am one of the most talkative person they have ever come across.

These are the two aspects which matter the most in any conversation; the art of starting it and knowing when and where to stop. Starting remains the most difficult part for many ‘or is bolun ya na bolun ki kasmakash mein so many boys have lost out on good girlfriend’(The dilemma of to say or not to say has resulted in many a boys missing out on making good girl friends). It is not all that difficult to start a conversation, do not wait too long for an opening; at times you got to create one. There is no single perfect opening line, it is dependent on the situation and the location you have met in, a party, a marriage function, a seminar, or a journey. Look for a common thread, common interest to catch on( this comes easy when the person is known) or just make a start with a casual query (with a stranger) concerning the seminar or the music being played in the party or the food to the weather (whatever suits you and gives you confidence) which someone will not find difficult to answer or easy to ignore (Avoid cliches, be natural).

The confidence, gestures, and the control over the language matters, be polite and easy, aggressive body language and bragging are a big No. 

Well, starting a conversation is not as difficult as sustaining it as in the present environment two people getting into an argument for most trivial reasons within no time of getting into a discussion and walking out is very high. Most interactions end abruptly as the people involved are not proficient in the art of developing/ leading a conversation which may start with common interests, but thrives on honesty/ originality as also the ability and willingness of the people to move deftly/ shift focus from one topic to another. Wit and humour add life to conversation but should not be forced and kept within an accepted boundary. Two other essentials required for sustaining a conversation are the ability to listen and not being judgemental or opinionated; you cannot get into a conversation with a fixed mindset and hope to sustain it for long. Have a open mind and listen to the view points of others, maybe you will learn something you did not know.

Once the conversation has got going what matters is creating a genuine impression in the mind of the other person and generating enough interest which ignites the urge for the next meeting. This off course depends more than anything else on the authenticity of the two people involved.

Not knowing where and when to stop a conversation specially during the first meeting has ruined many a budding relationship. Some spaces are personal and are better avoided specially while making conversation with strangers. Do not try to fit in too much in too little a time, do not behave as if there will not be a tomorrow.

Today we do have the facility of technological gadgets which function as communication enablers and the young generation and the Gen next does use them effectively to their advantage but I can assure them all that in the matters of heart ‘Jo baat tujhmein hai teri tasveer mein nahin or should I say Jo baat usmein hai uski tasveer mein nahin’ rules (Face to face conversation is any day better than chatting on phone, though video helps but then watching live expression come and go on a beautiful face has a unique effect which may not be visible on the video). To me it is the ‘life’ in the person which matters more than the photoshopped picture posted on social media.