Corona – The side effects….

I am a dreamer and always had a strong wish to live some of my dreams and with Ms Corona catching everyone’s attention and imagination, nothing much to do there is more and more time to dream but off late the dreams have slowly started turning into nightmares. Har taraf hai viraana, “Yeh Zameen yeh vaadiyaan yeh aasman, gumsum hai bhala saara sama” (Silence prevails in the sky and on the earth….). The silence is killing literally ‘killing’ man.

They say it is a God sent opportunity for catching up with family, (re) building bonds. For how long and on what all topics can one converse with just a person or two. Up to a fortnight was ok “per ab to daada daadi, naana nani sabke kisse khatam ho gaye, ab naya kahan se laayein ; ab to yeh darr hai ki kahin boriyat ke maahol mein who sab kisse na nikal aayein jinko itne saalon se dil ki gehraayion mein biwi se chuppa ke rakkha tha”. My situation is comparable to that of a news reporter of 24 X & News channel; kahan se laaye nayee masaledaar khabar 24 ghante saal ke 365 din (How does one generate new stories 24 X & , 365 days a year?)? Specially now, when now when we can see nothing beyond the virus. We may succeed in keeping the virus out of our lung, but it has certainly locked the brain and as it appears, it’s not going to leave in a hurry.

There is hardly any diversion, TV is not helping much; replaying all old movies and the wife will not let you hide behind a laptop or a mobile for long. No parties, no extra- curricular activity in the name of client meetings; zindagee ab or kya kya dikhaana baki hai? Itne paap bhi nahin kiye they ai khuda. (ker hi lete ab mauka mile na mile). (How much more one got to suffer? I don’t think I sinned that much? Wish I had!). Na daaru, na cigarette na hi paan masale ko kabhi haath lagaya or ab sab milna hi durlabh ho gaya, thoda warning to de dete dear God, taste hi ker lete. (Wish you had given some warning Dear God; I do not want to leave the world with any regret).

Most of my friends are posting videos and images of themselves cooking and spending quality time with family. Its good, husbands & kids got to share the workload of the lady of the house, specially, when there is no ‘helping hand’ around. One thing I have never tried my hand on is cooking and thankfully my wife being too ‘health conscious’ has never trusted me with cooking and does not allow me anywhere near the kitchen even in these hard times. I am only allowed to help in cleaning, that too under supervision. Now one realises how difficult it is to reach every corner of the house and under the furniture to get the dust out. My sympathy grows for the maid (just sympathising man, tum log bhi na, kya kya sochte re baba).

Thank God that the pandemic hit the world in 21^st century when the internet had proliferated enough, and we have Netflix and other platforms providing entertainment otherwise what would have been our condition? How difficult life would have been? No office, no diversions just me and my wife (and one odd kid, may be) and on top of that ‘do gaz duri’ banaye rakhne ka Pradhan mantri ka farmaan; sahi mein yaar waat lag jaatee. Dear PM can you please make it clear in your next ‘Man ki baat’ that ‘do gaz ki duri’ is not binding inside homes, yahan to pappi, jhappi permitted hai; some wives have taken your directions too seriously.

I really love those ‘Bear Hugs’, what warmth it gives, what a feeling it is, just missing it. Leave alone the hug, no one is willing to shake hands even, less off course, Ms Corona. She is there outside my house 24 X 7, hairs loosely flowing in cool breeze, half covering her beautiful face, sensuous lips puckered, mischief in those mesmerising eyes, head tilted to a side ardently waiting to give me that passionate hug. Should I? How can one resist? What a situation?

And then I was woken up from my deep sleep by the phone bell which had been ringing long……It was my wife on the other side….and the first usual question…” How are you?” After I replied ” I am good, was just sleeping” came the next qs most men dread to ans ” Kiske sapne dekh rahe they, took so much time to respond?…I tell these wives they have this sixth sense….they somehow even come to know about your dreams ….. fortunately this time I had no throat pain and I could ans….(My Date with Corona….)

PS: Me and my wife are ‘locked down’ in two different cities separated by miles. Aur aksar “Mein aur meree tanhai yeh baatein karte hain, agar tum hoti to yeh hota, tum yeh kehti mein woh karta”. Kya pata kya hota; Shayad who sab jo meine uper bayan kiya hai…….