It’s a fashion among the married people to keep asking the bachelors about the marriage plans. Maybe, their own life having become a routine that’s the only variation the married guys find, rubbing in the thought of marriage into the mind of single men/ women, narrating the happiness the marriage and a life partner brings. And every bachelor has this thought “Arrey yaar, if you are happily married than you be happy, let me live my life and if you are not happy than let me be happy with my life”. But live and let live ka riwaaz yahan chalta nahin (The philosophy of live and let live somehow doesn’t seem to work here). My parents fortunately never pestered me with questions about marriage, but you know these friends specially the married ones, pushed by their spouses, don’t give up on such issues easily.
My own little research on matters of marriage had brought me to a conclusion that Indian men/ women or should I say boys and girls got married for basically three reasons. 90 % of them get married because their parents want them to marry. 8 % get married because they could not resist or say No to the first boy or girl whom they got close to. Its only about 2 % who get married because their mind said so, not just the heart. Dil ka kya hai, who to dhadakta hi rehta hai usko dhadakne do, jyaada tawazo mat do (Heart keeps beating for varied reason don’t get carried away the way it responds on meeting a person of opposite sex). You all would have understood by now that I wanted to be part of the last two % at any cost.
I chose to remain a bachelor till I was 32, and you can well imagine what all questions I would have faced about my thoughts on marriage. The subtle and not so subtle inquiries being made about my intents and my hidden girlfriends. People had high hopes from me per kya jaante they ki “Thee na humaree kismet ki koi girlfriend hoti” woh bas mahaz ek khwaab thee jiske saath jee rahe they hum (My girlfriend only lived in my imaginary world and had not turned into a reality till then).
Dreamer I was, knowing fully well that some dreams can turn to be a nightmare but then what’s life without having ever taken risks; so still I had my dreams. Fortunately, my Dream Girl was simple and my needs few. I always imagined about a life partner who was strong headed, strong willed with loads of confidence and attitude, preferable working or having a reasonable qualification to get a job when required. A person capable of carrying her head balanced on her own shoulders and not look for support at the drop of a hat. And finally, she should have depth in her eyes and a dimple in her smile. I don’t think I was too demanding, was I? But then God had His own plans and was making me wait.
I did share this picture of my Dream Girl with some close friends and seniors, but their response was not very encouraging. Most said, such girls only exist in dreams while others went a step ahead and said that even if you are lucky to find a girls like that you are bound to get into ‘trouble’ (Who desires a strong headed life partner that too a wife?).
But I am not the one who gives up on his dreams so easily and I went about merrily singing “Zara tasveer se tu nikalker saamne aa, meree mehbooba…”(Please come out of the photo frame, o my love ( Dream girl). I had full trust in God and had this strong gut feel that one day I will sing” Jo baat tujhmein hai woh teree tasveer mein nahin” (You are much better than I had imagined).
Well, did my dream come true or “Sapna mera toot gaya”? Woh Tasveer se nikalker ker saamne ayee ya nahin ayee? Dekhenge agle blog mein ‘Hum Log’ (We will find the truth in the next blog).
First the marriage and then kids….. Indian parents and relatives and friends are always worried. Very well captured the emotions of a long time Bachelor….Awaiting for the Part 2 Sir. Regards
Thank you Lalit…God bless 🙏
In Indian society it’s the parents who take upon themselves the responsibility of finding the match or decide the right time. They may be right also, as everything has a right time & age. I have seen people facing real difficulty in finding a suitable match after right time is gone. However, if one is himself/herself strong minded then he/she will find the right time and right person too. Matter of convictions…
There is no right time by age…every time is right when you are ready..😊
Will stay posted to know if your dream came true or not.
Thank u Balaka…