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Today while scrolling through various posts on Facebook, I came across this wonderful quote which immediately caught my eye and set my mind thinking “Explain your anger, don’t express it, you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments”.
Yes, this makes so much of sense and will help avoid so much of unnecessary stress, wastage of time and avoid spoiling relationships. Anger can’t be helped, we all get angry at someone or other because as per our perception he/ she has not performed up to our expectations. Anger is justified when it has resulted due to your own or your team’s under performance and led to a loss (loss of face or financial), but certainly should not lead to loss of temper, causing humiliation.
Anger is generally the result of difference in opinion, varying perceptions and our unnecessary desire of controlling everything. We all have our own perception of perfection/ excellence and tend to lose our mind when the output is not as per what we perceived it is be.
I have come across many a senior in my long professional journey who thought getting angry and shouting was their birth right and things were going good in the organisation because of them and their ability to shout. Nothing can be more far from truth. Such bosses are just endured that too because there are limited options available to the juniors. Initially such bosses, by their stupid behaviour, do succeed in increasing the stress levels but as time passes they become the object of fun for the juniors. Such seniors only have the guts of shouting at juniors, however, in front of their own bosses they are meek and timid. Organisation performs well because everyone is doing his/ her job, for their own self- respect, despite having a stupid boss.
Anger should never be used as a means of exerting your seniority or power, misuse of authority vested in you. Anger should be used as a tool for improvement.
I have also been an angry young man and not just my juniors but in equal proportions some of my seniors suffered from my anger. I was fortunate that I realised quite early in life that my temper was causing more harm than any good to the organisation and to me as a person.
Do not control the anger but control the way it is expressed. Instead of just shouting and humiliating, it’s anytime better to express what you did not like and let the other person explain his/ her view and more often than not the issue will be resolved in no time. Whenever you perceive a wrong has been done or a performance has not been up to the expectations, do not be in a hurry to react and sort the things out. Take your time, think it over, you may understand the reasons why things went wrong or maybe the performance was not as bad as you thought. If your mind still says that you are right, call over the people responsible for the job and have a cool discussion, understand their point of view. Convey what you found lacking and If need be, convey your displeasure without raising your raising your voice.
When a senior or boss loses his cool at the drop of a hat, juniors start avoiding him and communication and feedback system starts dying down. This is the worst which can happen in a company/ team. Communication should not be allowed to break down at any cost. The team member should feel free to interact with the boss anytime, anywhere. High tempers will only result in increased stress levels which is not good for your own health and that of the organisation you work for.
Short temper may also cause serious embarrassment and loss (under performance and loss of respect) at times. There will certainly be occasions where you will realise that you shouted for nothing or when because of your ego entire job had to be re-done causing losses. Cool temperament will help you avoid such incidents.
Heated quarrels, shouting over the top and losing temper certainly is not warranted at home. Kids, spouse will question things, learn to convince. You may not have answers to all the questions, accept it, find the solutions. Do not try to shut them up by raising your voice, it may work couple of times, not more, after which you will lose respect and your peace of mind. Maintain peace at home, it’s good for you and the family.
“Anger seldom leads to good solutions, discussions do”
👌👌👌👌
On Mon, 23 Jul 2018 at 7:39 AM, Krishmotivationblogs wrote:
> krish posted: ” Today while scrolling through various posts on Facebook, I > came across this wonderful quote which immediately caught my eye and set my > mind thinking “Explain your anger, don’t express it, you will immediately > open the door to solutions instead of argume” >
Thank you..
God bless you
Nice Article 👍
On Mon, 23 Jul 2018 at 7:39 AM, Krishmotivationblogs wrote:
> krish posted: ” Today while scrolling through various posts on Facebook, I > came across this wonderful quote which immediately caught my eye and set my > mind thinking “Explain your anger, don’t express it, you will immediately > open the door to solutions instead of argume” >
Thank you..
Regards
What a wonderfully inspiring piece of writing. Everything you write here is so true and helpful.
Thank you so much Azlin…
God bless you..
Very beautifully put across. I too have come across many such seniors in my work life. Such seniors would just not be able to reason as they are angry at that moment. Anger also takes away the ability to logic.
My point of view….
That’s right Shivani….anger does take away the ability to see logic .
Thank you..
Regards
I totally agree with anger doesnt lead us to anywhere. It only add oil to the fire! Many people know the theory but hard to put into practice! This is another great post from you and love to read more!
Thank you so much for readibg my posts..
God bless you
A really nice approach to the topic. Ways to deal explained really well😁
Thank you Palak .
anger itself can either destroy you or teach you. it is all up to you. we all have limitations in terms of our patience. and if we let anger take control of us, take note that we are not the only one affected, but also relationships with people we are dealing with. so we better get the full control of what we can control – ourselves 🙂
That’s right Cha…
Thank you so much..
God bless you.
Well said. Words spoken in anger cannot be taken back. Actions mad when angry cannot be undone.
Thank you Kris..
God bless you
The best way to avoid stress is to learn how to deal with your own anger and frustration, first and then help others to find better ways to communicate. Good post!
Thank you for reading and Leaving your thoughts .
God bless you
Great thoughts; I agree with your conclusions on this one. You might be interested in reading “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius; he was the father of stoicism, which sounds like the direction that your thoughts are going. Good stuff.
Thank you Steven…for reading and leaving your views….
God bless
Great post and great quote as well. Communication is key 😉
Thank you..
Stay blessed
It’s such a useful post to me! I tend to get angry for no reason and stay angry longer than I would want to. I guess it’s something I need to work harder to overcome!
Thank you Lyosha..
God bless you
Great thoughts here, Krish! I think you’d be very interested in reading “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius. He was the father of stoicism, which sounds like the direction you’re going in here.
I agree anger is very destructive.I love your approach in handling it.I have learnt from this
Thank you..
Stay blessed
This is great advice that we all could learn from, I am trying to live this quote but it easier said than done. Anger is so much easier to express than being an adult and talking! LOL Something to work on!
You are right…most of us have this problem..
Thank you for reading and leaving your views..
God bless you
Anger can lose your temper. Sometimes you need to boost your anger for you to get better 🙂
Thank you..
God bless
It was nice of you sharing this idea of post. the quote is really good and make sense. Somehow, I can control my anger every time which is I guess nice thing.
That’s good..
Thank you..
God bless
I know it’s rational and important that we don’t take a decision or say something when in anger but can’t deny the fact that the pleasure I get from succumbing to anger and letting it out is pacifying. It gives me peace of another kind. I have lost a couple of people in the process but they deserved it anyway.
Everyone has a perception….I also used to fire ppl n think that they deserved it…but after having put in 30 years plus in dealing with human resource…I realised there were better ways of doing things….firing is always an option but shouting and abusing should never be ..no.one is perfect …every boss also makes mistakes…who should fire him?